Boost your Confidence - Penguin Live
Penguin Live hosted a fantastic event ‘Boost Your Confidence’ with the book launch of Chloe Brotheridge’s The Confidence Solution, following her previous release of The Anxiety Solution. Chloe is a hypnotherapist, author and coach, and also has The Calmer You Podcast. Chloe does all this great work as she herself struggled in the past with anxiety and confidence issues, and found that therapy, books and retreats helped her become a calmer person. With this in mind, she developed tool kit of things to help her clients.
Chloe started with some statistics, such as 22% of women and 15% of men feel anxious all or most of the time, 45% of people occasionally feel lonely and 66% of women and 54% of men suffer with imposter syndrome. If you’ve been feeling that way, keep in mind that you’re not alone! The first step towards feeling more confident is calming the system using deep breathing techniques, or even just having a bit of a shake! This is why animals do this – it is nature’s way of discharging stress.
It may also be helpful to name emotions – people often say it is stress or anxiety but they may not be the most accurate words. Chloe recommended having a look at a feelings wheel to identify how you’re truly feeling… It can help the brain to deal with the emotion if it is be able to name it.
Confidence is also not always what it seems – celebrities may appear to have everything figured out, but famously Adele is known for nervousness before singing, Michelle Obama has spoken about imposter syndrome and Beyonce about perfectionism. What we see as confidence may actually just be courage – feeling scared but doing it anyway. Confidence is a skill that can be developed, available to all. It’s more about being open and willing to try.
Chloe also made an important point about being kind to yourself – consider what you might say to a friend having a bad day, in comparison to what you’ll say to yourself. You should acknowledge your inner critic, but do not listen. Another point was also having fear about an upcoming an event going wrong – instead of worrying about what bad things might happen, how about imagining how well it could go – feeling confident, smiling and laughing. This will help you go into situations more positively, preparing the mind and nervous system to feel confident.
A final point from Chloe was how everyone worries about what other people think. Every person you meet will create a version of you in their heads, which is filtered through their own experiences. So there are thousands of versions of you, which are not actually the real you, just their perception. Yet you may try to control what other people think, but the only true opinion that matters if your own. You can have the world showering you with praise but if you do not believe it yourself, it does not matter. So be kind to yourself, try and calm your body if needed and think positively!
Chloe had some great ideas in what is a very difficult time for some people – the audience asked questions on various topics such as overthinking, feeling like you’re not good enough and having the confidence to deal with Zoom meetings. There are some things you can try at home, such as asking friends and family what things they admire about you, being present in the moment and trying to do tasks without distractions, and perhaps limiting time or times of day on social media. What is definitely incredibly important is reaching out and talking to someone. Remember: you aren’t alone!
For some positive thinking and motivation whilst job searching, do check out our blog ‘Reset, Recharge and Reach your goals in 2021’, from the last session of our #InspiredWebinarSeries